(via vincentvelt)

halfsollux:

am i even good at kissing this is a serious concern of mine

(via thebookofcriss)

(via dutchster)

(via guy)

p0kemina:

builttobulk:

secretlyybroken:

Weight should be like virginity.
Once you lose it you can’t get it back.

Ohhhh. I thought you were gonna say “Weight should be like virginity: a societal ideal by which we shouldn’t measure our personal worth.”

B A M

(via jonaspatronus)

tardiscalledsexy:

My math teacher called me average.

How mean.

(via jonaspatronus)

nekojulio:

phantomrose96:

kazifer:

Stop saying that “sex is a basic human need”.

"Give it to me straight doc, is he gonna be okay?"

"No ma’am I’m sorry but we were too late…your son just couldn’t get some. There was nothing we could do."

*mother crumbles to the floor, curses the friendzone to the heavens. Doc lowers fedora over corpse’s eyes respectfully*

FEDORA

(via jonaspatronus)

(via dutchster)

  • Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family?
  • Me: *sits with family*
  • Me: *gets insulted by entire family*
  • Me: *goes back to bedroom*